The joy of quitting (sometimes)

You know the saying "winners never quit and quitters never win" ? Sounds good, and I've certainly used it as an excuse to stick with something that deep down I knew wasn't working. But recently a series of books, blogs and podcasts have taught me that the reality is that winners quit fast, quit often and quit without guilt - until they commit to pushing through the right obstacles for the right reasons.

Steve Jobs and Apple was a classic. When he started Apple, they launched some truly awful products that failed big time (ever heard of the LISA computer ?), and he was even kicked out of the company (!) before coming back to Apple and forcing the business to cancel projects, delete failures and focus on creating world-changing innovation. He stuck with a singular vision and started a revolution with a little thing called the ipod. A truly inspirational friend set up her own charity and has battled through obstacles so big it would scare 99.9% of people, and she has had to push through countless "No's", and distractions along the way. She's championing learning, trying, and pushing through failures to help hundreds of other mothers out there, everyday (check out www.bellyful.org.nz if you'd like to learn more).

A 'Freakonomics' podcast on 'The Upside of Quitting' (check it out here), explains two different types of cost that can help when making the tough calls. First there's the 'sunk cost' - thats the time, money and effort that you've spent getting to this point. It could be thousands of dollars, years with the same company or countless hours studying at university. Whatever the cost, you can't take it back. Unlike the second kind of cost - 'opportunity cost'. That's the value of making one future choice over another. When you choose the job just because it's the first one you've been offered, even though the pay is $10,000 less than you could get - that's the opportunity cost. Money isn't the only way to measure opportunity cost, there is the future learning, experience and chance to try something new. It might not be the plan you had at the start, but you have to forget the sunk cost, stop hoping that it will miraculously get better, and weigh up the best future opportunity costs.

But it took my favourite blogger of the day, Seth Godin, to kick start this blog post and bigger life thoughts. "The Dip" is a long essay book (seriously, its only 93 pages) that positively encourages you to quit. Just quit. Quit complaining about your life, find the burning passionate part of you and get rid of all the things that are holding you back so you can clear a path to where you want to be.

For me, I've just made the decision to quit a short-term opportunity that sounded kind of great but wasn't going to be more than a flash-in-the-pan job that I've done before... so I'm sticking. Not quitting just because something new came along. After leaving too many jobs once the initial excitement wore off, today I'm going to stay. To find my way through the Dip and know that when the long-term results pay off then I'll be there to celebrate.
Because that's the secret to success in the long term. Knowing what and when to quit, and when to push through all the obstacles in your way - with the fervent knowledge that when  you do break through you'll be on the winning side. Everyone else will have quit because the going was too tough, hoping their sunk costs will somehow win bibe the secret to success, and never quite achieving their full potential.

Time to go say 'no'.

Lessons from High School

The passing of yet another birthday was a trigger this year - a further reminder that I'm at a tipping point and time to change. Call it a midlife crisis, or maybe just a realisation that I'm no longer at high school, and in fact have now spent more time outside than I ever did there.

The hangover fears from school - being different or laughed at if you "stick your head above the group" - has an enduring impact for so much longer than we realise. All those times where you / I hesitated before speaking up in case someone laughed, or disagreed, or worse still made you feel 'silly'. I've been in board meetings with senior executives and had to deal with a 50year old who still thought it was funny to pick on the new 'girl'. The harder part of this was the rest of the 'gang' who silently tolerated his behaviour and only spoke up once the meeting was over. I heard a radio report this morning about the European debt crisis and said one of the biggest issues was that senior politicians would look bad if they had to admit that they made a mistake. And that's why they were spending so much money and drama trying to resolve things. They didn't want to face up to the possibility that other people might know that they had done something that wasn't perfect. Sounds like 15year olds in the classroom. With much bigger bank balances...

I'm heading back to a different kind of school and doing extra study fifteen years after leaving university. Back into the classroom with group assignments, lecturers and a whole lot of other people trying to stand out, fit in and learn. Will it be different to school ? The positive part of me says "of course, we're all grown ups now" but I'll keep an open mind and try NOT to slip back into my teenage self. Bossy, over confident and hiding a secret fear that one day I'll be found out for being not as clever as I hope to be. Time to take the plunge, face my fears and do it anyway.

Point A to Point B

Because I'm a mother. Because I have daughters. Because its Mother's Day and I wanted to share something new. Because.

B - the second letter of the alphabet and my second discovery to share. I discovered this video while surfing through Seth Godin's website (the link in the thread) and the TED endorsement had me thinking 'this could be interesting'. Yep. And some.

Sarah Kay is a spoken word poet. That's right. She reads poems, her own poems, which is a pretty cool career I'd have to say. Not your typical "sit at a desk and write something, then hope someone discovers the book, buys it, copies, shares or tweets because I can't be there" poet. It adds something pretty neat that  both brings them to life and also gives this amazing chance to pause and just listen. Listen to someone sharing a little bit of themself just with you, for you and because of you.

Point B is a poem about a young woman talking to her future daughters and sharing her hopes, thoughts and tips for life with them. "If I should have a daughter, instead of “Mom,” she’s gonna call me “Point B,” because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me." Watching Youtube alone in the lounge, wiping away random tears, I was pretty stunned that she must have been only 18yr when she wrote and originally performed this at some random club in New York - a million miles away from little old-NZ - and also thinking "this is something that I want to be". Not the spoken word poet, thats a career step too far even for me! But the Mum who wants to be that bit more for her daughters.

This is the full TED speech - the poem is the start so you can just watch the first 3min for the poem. Or you can spare the full 18minutes for a pretty inspiring piece of something cool.

This is the original from the Bowery in New York - with added music, ups the emotion but harder to hear. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW-_qjI7MMc

If you're a Mum too, you may want to save this for your kids. Or maybe share it with a few other Mum's and daughters, because you'd like to give them a little something cool. Or just because you can.

Or maybe just keep it as your own special gift. Just from me.

It starts with one.

It all starts with one. One book, one post, one recipe that makes you go "a-ha, that's it". That's what I've been looking for but I didn't know it until I found it. 

This blog is my "a-ha". A chance to start sharing interesting, cool, funny, delicious, inspirational, mini-smile-time things from all over the world that have somehow passed by me. It's not a daily dialogue, but a weekly gift of discovery.

The inspiration for this is Seth Godin's book "Linchpin" which challenges the traditional career path, and forced me to think about what value I bring to the world - and to my work. So far I've been a pretty successful 'box-ticker' who has managed to climb the traditional corporate ladder. But the rungs are rapidly changing and up isn't somewhere I want to go anymore, not without sacrificing way too much of my life and self. This book is what everyone who is wondering "why the heck isn't my career working out the way it 'should' be" and facing the terror of Monday-itis should read. Or maybe you've lost your passion for work and turned into a 'box-ticker' but want something more.

Discovering what your 'art' is and how you can apply the special magic, wisdom and insight that only YOU have is the essence of "Linchpin". Sounds arty-farty and way too hard. But that's the point. It "sounds" hard but isn't about retraining, study or complex theories. My "a-ha" was that no-one was a better expert at what my future could be, than me. And I better start on the next step now.

So it starts here. Now. This blog. My 'art'. Today.