Lessons from High School

The passing of yet another birthday was a trigger this year - a further reminder that I'm at a tipping point and time to change. Call it a midlife crisis, or maybe just a realisation that I'm no longer at high school, and in fact have now spent more time outside than I ever did there.

The hangover fears from school - being different or laughed at if you "stick your head above the group" - has an enduring impact for so much longer than we realise. All those times where you / I hesitated before speaking up in case someone laughed, or disagreed, or worse still made you feel 'silly'. I've been in board meetings with senior executives and had to deal with a 50year old who still thought it was funny to pick on the new 'girl'. The harder part of this was the rest of the 'gang' who silently tolerated his behaviour and only spoke up once the meeting was over. I heard a radio report this morning about the European debt crisis and said one of the biggest issues was that senior politicians would look bad if they had to admit that they made a mistake. And that's why they were spending so much money and drama trying to resolve things. They didn't want to face up to the possibility that other people might know that they had done something that wasn't perfect. Sounds like 15year olds in the classroom. With much bigger bank balances...

I'm heading back to a different kind of school and doing extra study fifteen years after leaving university. Back into the classroom with group assignments, lecturers and a whole lot of other people trying to stand out, fit in and learn. Will it be different to school ? The positive part of me says "of course, we're all grown ups now" but I'll keep an open mind and try NOT to slip back into my teenage self. Bossy, over confident and hiding a secret fear that one day I'll be found out for being not as clever as I hope to be. Time to take the plunge, face my fears and do it anyway.